<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Myself I Must Remake by Shergar</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27288370">Myself I Must Remake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shergar/pseuds/Shergar'>Shergar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Spies &amp; Secret Agents, Blood, Happy Ending, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Mentions of Binge-drinking, Mild Gore, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:40:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,453</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27288370</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shergar/pseuds/Shergar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“What exactly am I supposed to be doing here, other than taking care of a rat problem for you?” He asked, sheathing the kukris he had been using to switch to the karambits. The hallway he’d turned down was cramped and the smaller blades would be more useful in this environment. The knives hadn’t always been his go-to for close combat and it was only within the last few years that they had been added to his kit. A memory of something that could have been had things been different. </p><p>The life of a spy was never easy. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Myself I Must Remake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Jia, I hate to burst your bubble, but when someone says they have a birthday present for you, they don’t typically mean another job,” Alec muttered into the com device in his ear as he watched the body of one of the terrorist fucks fall to the ground in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh come now, stop your whining. I know you are enjoying yourself at the very least.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Damn it. He was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What exactly am I supposed to be doing here, other than taking care of a rat problem for you?” He asked, sheathing the kukris he had been using to switch to the karambits. The hallway he’d turned down was cramped and the smaller blades would be more useful in this environment. The knives hadn’t always been his go-to for close combat and it was only within the last few years that they had been added to his kit. A memory of something that could have been had things been different. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The life of a spy was never easy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two more guards trickled out and raised their guns to shoot at him. Alec scoffed, he hated guns, considering them the coward’s solution to a problem. He much preferred his bow, when he could use it, and his various knives when he couldn’t. The first few rounds went off and Alec’s mind slipped into the familiar dance that came with the blades in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Disarming the two idiots was painfully easy and Alec had to wonder if they were anything more than simple security guards. Once the guns were out of the picture, the bald one (he’d call him Mr. Clean) started throwing punches. It was easy enough to place his forearm in the way, causing the strike to miss its intended target and allowing Alec to push the man’s arm down and get the inside edge of the karambit under the man’s throat. With his other hand, he grabbed the back of Mr. Clean’s head and pushed it towards the blade, pulling the knife around his neck in an effective slice. The man let out a gurgle and Alec dropped him instantly to move on to the other guard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The second guard couldn’t have been older than twenty-two. He had backed himself against a wall and had his hands up in surrender. “This is just supposed to be a summer job. Please don’t kill me.” Alec could see that the terrified kid was shaking like a leaf and he sighed, motioning with his head for the boy to get going. That was one of his rules, he didn’t kill kids even if they were working for some dickbag terrorists. The boy took off at a run and Alec took a moment to wipe the blade of the karambit off on his pants. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Intel says there’s something in this shithole that is of great interest to you and, obviously, we want the vermin eradicated. Let’s just say this takes care of two birds with one proverbial stone.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did this revelation need to come on my birthday? I had plans, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t think your annual binge-drinking depression Olympics counts as plans, Alec. Your liver will thank me, I assure you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He snorted but didn’t justify a response. Alec moved through the hall silently, working his way towards the back of the building, dispatching those that got in his way quickly. Somewhere behind him, a klaxon started blaring warning of his arrival. “Too little, too late.” He muttered. At this point, he doubted there were many left alive to heed the alarm. When he reached the end of the hallway, he was faced with a set of stairs leading downstairs and a locked door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your rats have been exterminated, Jia. I’m guessing my birthday present is wrapped up with a bow behind door number one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Nothing gets past you, Mr. Lightwood.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The heavy, steel door was locked and Alec opened the kit strapped to his arm to fish out one of the small, silver buttons. He placed it by the lock, taking a few steps back and putting his fingers in his ears to save his hearing from the localized explosion. There was a small boom and he turned around, pushing open the door with a low creak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room on the other side was dark and dirty and Alec crinkled his nose at the smell that lingered in the air. The left side of the room was set up like a hospital lab - complete with table, chair and restraints. Alec shuddered as his eyes moved to the wall of computers and other medical implements, some still stained a dark crimson. He knew he wouldn’t like whatever had happened here. They’d take the computers back with them and start to piece together the information that the hard drives provided but that was a job for the follow-up crew. His job was to clear the way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard a scuff on the floor from the other side of the room that had him spinning on his heel and raising his karambits defensively. This half was lined with cells, and Alec absolutely didn’t want to think of the implications of </span>
  <em>
    <span>that.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He stalked past each one silently, checking for any sign of life before reaching the last where a shadow caught his eye. “Hello, anyone in there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a beat of silence before a voice spoke quietly from the back. “Alexander?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec’s breath hitched and he felt a shiver run down his spine. That voice...he hadn’t heard that voice in three years. Not since the other man had kissed him good-bye and assured him that he’d be back soon. One week had turned into one month and one year had turned into two. The note in his file had been quietly updated from Missing in Action to Killed in Action. He’d left on Alec’s birthday, exactly three years ago today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Magnus?” It came out little more than a pained whisper and he grabbed the bars, trying desperately to see to the back of the cell. The other man limped forward and Alec had to blink back the tears forming in his eyes. He’d lost weight and muscle, his hair was shaggy and he was bloody and dirty but he would recognize Magnus Bane anywhere, even if he was missing that playful sparkle in his eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you were dead,” He started, trying (and probably failing) to keep his voice steady. “We...I looked for you. Everywhere. You just disappeared. I tried my contacts...yours. No one could find any hint of a trail you left behind. They said you just took off to start over…that you just do that sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, my love. I would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> do that to you. The intel your people gave me was bad. I was ambushed as soon as I got to the warehouse.” Magnus sounded </span>
  <em>
    <span>tired</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but Alec could hear the relief in his voice and scrambled clumsily for another of the silver buttons to blow the lock on the cell. Magnus recognized the device and both men turned their backs and plugged their ears as the thing detonated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as he heard the quiet boom, Alec whipped open the cell door and pulled Magnus into a hug, pressing his nose into the crook of the man’s neck and fighting back a sob. “It’s really you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it’s really you. I thought I’d die in here.” Magnus replied, leaning into Alec to relieve some of the weight on his injured leg. “I just...can we go home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Alec whispered, his arms sweeping behind the man to pull him into his arms bridal style. Magnus looked like he had expected it, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against Alec’s chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Building has been cleared, ready for phase two.” He muttered as he moved back down the hallway the way he had come. “And Jia? Thank you. But don’t call me for a month.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course not, I think you’ve earned a vacation. And happy birthday, Alec.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Happy birthday, indeed. He carried Magnus past the corpses of the men who had held him captive for the past three years and out into the late afternoon sun. They still had a bit of a hike before they got to the jeep that he had arrived in. “Alexander,” Magnus started, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen between them, his voice still muffled against Alec’s body. “Were those my knives?” He’d pulled away enough that he could look up at the man carrying him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The corner of Alec’s mouth turned up and Magnus let out a sob, burying himself once again in the other man’s chest. That was all the answer that he needed.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not going to lie, I really had a Hydra vibe while I was writing this.</p><p>Title courtesy of W.B.Yeats.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>